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Ask Anna: I'm a gay man with a foot fetish. How do I meet men who are also into feet?
Ask Anna is a sex column. Because of the nature of the topic, some columns contain language some readers may find graphic.
I am a year-old guy, single, and gay. I am very into guys’ feet, but in nine years of trying to meet other guys who like male feet, I’ve met exactly one other dude. I like the appearance, feel, smell, and taste of male feet (well, depending on the overall package and attractiveness of the other guy — some feet are just gross, after all — and unfortunately many, if not most, guys seem to share that view). Where and how do I meet other guys into male feet!? Craigslist was no help. The sex and social apps such as Grindr, Scruff, Growlr, Recon and Manhunt are useless for meeting guys specifically into feet. I heard there was a group in Chicago that has parties for guys into feet but it seems nobody knows anything about where or when it meets. — Felix Feets
I don’t know what specific party you’re talking about, but if “feet” has its own category on PornHub’s gay channel, then it can’t be impossible to find dudes into your kink. A cursory googling unearthed something called Chicago Footies Foot Party at Cell Block in Boystown. The next one is Jan.
So the sex apps are not leading you anywhere, and Craigslist is always a (sometimes literal) crap shoot. What other sites, groups, or resources have you tried? FetLife surely has groups and message boards you can peruse. There’s the Male Feet and Tickling Network, a Facebook-esque social network for men into feet. There’s a site called FeetFetishDating.com. There’s a MeetUp group for Chicago male foot fetishists, which, fine, only has four members, but hey, could be worth a shot or connect you to others who might know where to land a hot dude who wants to worship your arches (or whichever parts you enjoy). There’s a Facebook group (and website) called Foot Fraternity, which is for men into men’s feet and footwear, and claims to be “a place to make friends, share ideas, share photos and enjoy yourself. A place where you can go and see you're not alone. There are others! A place of affirmation. A place where you can share your feelings.” This sounds so sweet and supportive EVEN I WANT TO JOIN. And I feel quite tepid about feet.
While being a gay guy into feet isn’t the most widely embraced fetish, it’s not the most unusual either. And as most kinksters will tell you, finding partners and community and fellow kink enthusiasts involves perseverance and networking. You might not want to blast a message to your social media networks detailing your kink to your hundreds of friends, though, the more vocal you are about your desire, the more likely something will manifest. Think of it as a Vision Board for your penis.
You could also hit up any of Chicago’s fantastic fetish bars (like Touche, Jackhammer, or the Granville Anvil) and ask around — bartenders, clientele, the lone dude quietly jerking off in the corner, whoever! You could even try fetish stores or sex shops, several of which are in Boystown, Andersonville, and so on. We’ve grown complacent with the ease and instant gratification-ness of online shopping (even for mates), but don’t discount the real world as a potential place to make leads and connections.
Good luck, FF. I hope you find your sole mate.
PS: If any readers want to help FF with intel on the gay foot underground, hit me up at [email protected]
Anna Pulley is a RedEye contributor. Want to ask Anna an anonymous question about love, sex or dating? Send it below, or email [email protected]
Are you into feet? One the the great things about the internet is the way in which it connects people with niche interests.
Through sharing online, people are able to explore their sexuality and gender with others around the world.
In fact, the net reveals what many may have considered ‘niche’ are actually not so. This could be applied to foot fetishism.
Scroll through Grindr, Scruff or any other popular gay hook-up app, and you’ll soon discover someone with a passion for feet or footwear.
The worlds most common fetish?
‘I regularly meet people who report being “into feet”, alongside other things like trainers, socks, etc,’ says psychotherapist and clinical sexologist Dominic Davies, founder of the UK-based Pink Therapy network of therapists.
‘I would say it’s a fairly common interest.
‘People can be into feet for many different reasons,’ he continues. ‘It should be borne in mind that sexual interests vary massively across, time and place. There are cultural contexts to take account of. In some cultures, feet are considered unclean and should not be touched, one must sit with ones feet facing away from others.
‘In our cultural contexts, some people find being at someones feet and worshipping them quite a submissive or humiliating act so it may occur in BDSM [bondage, discipline and sadomasochism].
‘But aside from that our feet have many nerve endings, they have both sensitivity and sensuality; so the receiver of foot worship may derive a great deal of pleasure from having them licked or sucked or nibbled.
Nerves on the feet respond to touch
Davies view is backed up by a London-based, club promoter, Andy. He runs a monthly fetish night devoted to foot fetishism called Feet on Friday, and another called Sneax on Saturday.
‘Nerves on the feet respond to touch’ he says. ‘The part of the brain where they end up is a similar part to the brain where people’s erogenous zones are kept. So there’s a bit of relationship between the two.
‘It’s a bit like why some people like having their nipples played with. There’s a physical reason.
‘And for a psychological reason, for a long time in the 80s and early 90s, before the days of PrEP, it was seen to be an activity that lots of people enjoyed that was very safe. Just a sensual thing to do. I think that’s also part of it.’
His night, Feet on Fridays, attracts guys each month. Andy says it’s a very mixed crowd with a wide range of foot-related interests, beyond just toe sucking.
‘It is really super diverse. The thing about the foot fetish thing is that you get people who are into so many different things. You get people who are into clean feet, or who like sweaty feet. Men who like hairy feet. People who like smooth feet. Then you get the guys who are into socks and footwear, whether it be boots or trainers or smart shoes.
‘Then you get people who are into doing things with feet, like tickling or guys into trampling.
‘Everyone has their own sort of things that they’re into, and I think that a lot of people are into more than one thing. But it’s just a very diverse spectrum of feet related things. There is one guy there who’s into giving pedicures.’
Mark (@crushmyguts), a year-old gay man, is one such foot worshipper. He has a particularly interest in being squashed and trampled under another guy’s feet. He says he first became aware of it during secondary school.
‘Those adolescent years, when boys are becoming men, all of a sudden I found myself curiously interested in what those men had on their feet! I was certainly into it in time for my first school crush.’
Mark says when he spots a guy he’s attracted to, the first thing he look at is his footwear.
‘What peaks my interest? Nikes more often than not, but sneakers generally. Solid rough boots can do it for me too.
‘Once the footwear is off, Im usually more attracted to white sports socks, and if they have nice feet, then I’m up for them naked as well.
Some guys just find it too unusual
When it comes to incorporating his attraction to feet into his sex life, Mark says, ‘Ill be honest, it does pretty much dominate my play, and in a dominant way too. I like to go under my guys hot sneakers, boots, socks and sexy feet literally have him walk over me, trample me.’
Are most guys he meets happy to indulge his interest?
‘To varying degrees. Some guys just find it too unusual. It freaks them out. Others will be like, heres my feet, maybe get me to massage them for a bit, possibly even step on me for a few minutes, then its back to something more vanilla, back into their comfort zone.
‘And of course relationships and play often involve indulging your partner on both sides with some common ground in the middle.
Turned on by certain types of feet
Other guys who talked to Gay Star News expressed a strong interest in certain types of feet.
‘I am attracted by chubby men feet, the feet need to be chunky,’ said one.
‘One thing that drives me crazy is tanned and hairy feet with delicate soles,’ said Vinicius Ribeiro (who shares some of his feet-related interests via his Instagram @mr_boytoy). ‘But the aesthetic part is not the main thing. What really appeals to me is the whole package. I prefer executive daddies with black socks or sweaty bad boys.’
Another found long toes a particular turn-on. Several mentioned the submissive-dominant aspect of foot worship.
More common in men than women
According to Davies, it’s not surprising that many guys in dating apps express an interest in feet.
‘In Justin Lehmillers survey of 4, Americans sex fantasies from his book Tell Me What You Want, he found the following results with respect to whether people reported having ever had a sexual fantasy in which feet or toes played a prominent role: % of heterosexual women, % of heterosexual men, % of non-heterosexual women, and % of non-heterosexual men.
‘For non-binary individuals, it was %. So these fantasies are most common among men and non-binary folk.’
Why do we develop fetishes?
Why foot fetishism is more popular with men remains unknown. However, Davies also has plenty of thoughts about why we develop fetishes generally.
‘Sexologist John Bancroft proposed that there are two periods in our life when were especially likely to develop fetishes. Around the age of eight or nine we might have some kind of intense emotional experience – probably non-sexual. It could be excitement, or fear or anything pretty intense.
‘And whilst in that hyper-aroused state, we have a powerful sensory experience that unconsciously hooks the two things together.
‘An example I often cite is a little boy being taken for a spin in his Dads new car: the smell of leather, the warmth of the sun, Dads excited mood and a special bonding just between father and son.
‘Years later, he wonders where his interest in leather comes from, and his first recollection takes him back to this innocent and yet highly charged emotional experience.
‘The second active period is usually puberty when curiosity and experimentation and burgeoning sexuality can give some peak experiences. I’m sure there are other ideas around too, but in my clinical experience of exploring these things, I’ve found a remarkable correlation with his theory, even though correlation doesn’t equal causation!’
Most of the guys who spoke to us for this article were unable to trace their interest back to specific events of childhood, with the exception of Ribeiro.
‘I remember always liking to play with feet since I was very young … my cousins spent the night at home and we slept together. We usually lay in opposite positions and their feet were close to my face, and this turned me on.’
Damaging or harmful?
If all involved are enjoying themselves, fetishes can add an extra dimension to sexual pleasure. But is there a point where fetishism can become unhealthy or damaging?
Only, says Davies, if it crosses lines of consent. Or if you feel it getting out of control. In that instance, he recommends talking to a kink-based sex therapist.
But if you find yourself attracted to feet but have never had the courage to mention it to a sexual partner, rest assured you’re far from alone. You may be surprised by how many other people are into the same thing. As the saying goes … if the shoe fits!
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Sitting in her usual place, that is, at the third single desk in front of. The window, the cabinet system with all its pros and cons has not yet reached her class, Failey shuddered slightly, feeling the coldness of a plastic chair with her naked buttocks through the fabric of her skirt.
Feet worship male
With her fingers Inga fingered the scrotum and sucked with relish, quietly sniffing through the nose. I opened my eyes and looked down at Inga, then raised my eyes to Jeanne. She, biting her lip, looked at us enthusiastically. The charming creature drew me to her.Paying my straight friend to do weird things (w/ Jeff Kasser)
Is it pleasant to feel?" The boy put his knees wider, and his hips sank closer to Katya's face. She began to caress the boy's tender scrotum with her tongue and lips, from which he, like a kitten, began to arch his back from. Time to time and moan with closed eyes, lightly biting his scarlet lips with his snow-white teeth. Then Katya took his penis in her mouth, and the boy, without stopping to masturbate in the partner's vagina, began to fuck her in the mouth.
Sometimes he took out his penis, took the scrotum by the base, and fucked Katya in the mouth with his balls.
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Hi - Hi, he replied and looked at me appraisingly Let's sit down. And we, having found a free shop, sat down and began to communicate on various topics. He turned out to be a pleasant conversationalist and I felt calm in his company. At the same time, we drank 2 bottles of beer each, and I was already decently lucky (since I had only drunk a few times in my life before).