Best birthday sex ideas

Best birthday sex ideas DEFAULT

How to have super-awesome birthday sex

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The first question that comes to mind is ‘What on earth is birthday sex?’ For those in the know, it’s the title of a rap song. But besides that, it is also a specific kind of sex. Okay, actually, it’s just regular sex, but you’re supposed to make it special for your birthday. Because, well, it’s your birthday. Or maybe it’s his birthday. Or hers. Whatever your sexual orientation might be.

Here are some ideas to have super-awesome birthday sex. (Did I really need to use a double superlative? Yes, I did. Because it’s birthday sex and birthday sex is super-awesome.)


The best time for birthday sex is—no, I’m not going to say ‘on your birthday’. That’s inane. And it’s a given. Duh. Anyway, the idea is to make birthday sex super-special, so having it at a time when you don’t normally have sex is a good idea. It’s a super idea. (Okay, okay, I promise. No more wisecracks.) Sex in the daytime is a good idea, as opposed to regular night-time sex, which is such a yawn on your birthday (or his or hers).  

The best place for birthday sex is someplace out of the ordinary. This is when you’ll both be high on happiness and celebrations, so you’ll also be willing to participate in a little daring-do. Like sex in public—in an elevator, the stairwell or outdoors. Your imagination and sense of adventure set the limits. Be safe, of course. Don’t choose a shady bylane where you might get mugged. If sex outside the house is far too wild for you, sex in the kitchen can be exciting too. Just steer clear of the bedroom.

How else can you make it special? Have you tried role play yet? No? Well, have at it and go all out. Rent costumes, act out a scene, be as naughty as you dare. Need ideas? Try something outlandish. Be the rider to his horse or the rabbit to his hunter. How about the queen to his slave? That’s royal play right there.

Photograph: Shutterstock


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1. Make it all about the birthday boy. Show your guy that today is all about him. Cook him dinner naked, or just prance around in your birthday suit while he waits in bed for you to seduce him. No matter what you actually do, let him know that you just want to please him. Don't worry, he'll be dying to reciprocate when your b-day rolls around. (As. He. Should.)2. Get him an escort. (Spoiler alert: You're the escort.) Reserve a room for the two of you and get there first, all dressed up like a, erm, classy lady of the night. Get a sexy wig that's a totally different color and style from your own hair and wear the skimpiest outfit you can find—the idea is to really transform yourself into a completely different woman. When he finds you in the room at the time you designate, he'll be shocked to find who appears to be another chick in your place and the two of you will soon be having hot, you-look-like-a-stranger sex.

3. Try something new. Delve into a more taboo act, like anal sex, that you've never experienced together. You'll both get to step out of your routine and make the birthday super memorable. Of course, remember to take the necessary steps to prepare for anal play—(lube galore)—you don't want your adventure to turn into a painful (or messy) disaster.

4. Become his fan-ta-ta-sy.A few days or weeks before your guy's birthday, find out what scenario, fantasy, or position he's been wanting to try. Take copious mental notes, and then make one of his fantasies or even part of his fantasy come true. If he doesn't really give you a straight answer, try a more general male fantasy: You could give him a surprise strip tease, a full body erotic massage, have sex somewhere new, make an adult film to enjoy together, or carefully spread a piece of birthday cake over your naked body and let him eat it off of you! (Mmmcake.)

5. Abstain.To make the night really amazing, you can implement a "No Sex Rule" for an entire week prior to his birthday. The sexual tension and anticipation that will be built up will make the sex explosive that night.

6. Surprise him with oral sex. Right when he walks in the door, pull down his pants and start his engine. Because guys can more often the ones to initiate sex, your man's birthday is a great time to take the lead.

7. Give him a sex present. Remember when you used to get toys for your birthday? Well, getting sex toys as an adult is even better. Because, seriously, what guy wouldn't appreciate you giving him the gift of orgasms?

Sources: Sex therapist Nikki Ransom and sexpert Emily Morse

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As you get older and wiser about the things you will and will absolutely-effing-not tolerate in bed, your sex life goes from 'meh' to 'more, please!' 

But if you don't expand your horizons as you develop into the sexual unicorn that you are, you're bound to miss out on at least a few orgasm-inducing tricks you might really like.

From finding your G-spot to getting warmed up for sex, try to sample every item on this list to ensure you have a great sex life for years to, ahem, come.

Alyssa Zolna

Not in the mood—but want to get yourself there? Try this five-minute trick to rev up your sex drive. Warm your hands in hot water. Cup your genital area with your palm, increasing pressure to a level you like. Continue until your genitals start to feel warm. Relax, inhale, and let your body do the work. "The point is to encourage blood to warm the region," says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., sex therapist and author. "Blood flow encourages natural mechanisms in the brain to prepare your body for sex. By tricking your brain into thinking you're having sex, it will start producing the delicious mix of chemicals that make sex enjoyable."

Alyssa Zolna

You've been told to focus on your breathing a zillion times in yoga class—but the same mindfulness technique can also be applied to ramp up your libido. Close your eyes and try to picture yourself breathing in and out through your vagina without touching it. "The effect is a strong increase in sexual desire in the body," says Brandy Engler, Psy.D., an Los Angeles-based psychologist and sex therapist. "I found doing this exercise for 10 to 20 minutes almost always creates sexual energy. It helps women take responsibility for their libido, so they feel they have more to bring to the bedroom and are less dependent on their partner to bring the excitement." Bonus: This technique relaxes you like meditation does, upping your pleasure and enjoyment.

Alyssa Zolna

You've heard all about your G zone, but have you actually tried to find it? For most women, this controversial pleasure zone lies about two inches inside the vagina on top of the vaginal wall, says Gary Brown, Ph.D., a licensed psychotherapist in Los Angeles. Apply lubricant to one or two fingers, then hunt for an area that's a bit spongy and more sensitive to stimulation. "The exact location differs. So patience is important," says Brown. Once you think you've hit the spot, make a gentle "come here" motion with your fingers. "Experiment with location, pressure, and speed of your fingers. Notice what your body is saying," says Brown. "But remember, not every woman experiences orgasm in the same way, if at all, in this area," he adds. So just enjoy the exploration.

Alyssa Zolna

The more 'sex' you have with yourself—the more sex you'll crave, says Kat Van Kirk, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and sex therapist and the resident sex expert for Plus, masturbating in front of a mirror will help you feel more confident during sex, since you'll see what your partner sees—which is pretty freaking hot, says Claudia Six, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist, relationship coach, and author. So get down with yourself where you can see your whole body. "Watch how your body moves in response to your touch. Watch your face as you get aroused and orgasm. Own it!" says Six. 

Watch men and women spill the honest truth about exactly what they think about masturbation:



Alyssa Zolna

Studies suggest that only about one in three women orgasm from boning alone, says Brame. While your mood and the position you're in could be to blame, your O could be stunted by a lack of foreplay, she says. Over time, that makes sex seem like a chore. So make foreplay non-negotiable. Sometimes, female bodies need extra stimulation to increase the blood flow necessary for orgasm, while men automatically have that blood flow as soon as they get hard. "The female sexual response cycle tends to need more stimulation than men," agrees Van Kirk. Feel free to self-stimulate or direct your partner to stimulate you as needed, she says.

Related: 9 Positions That Practically Guarantee an Orgasm

Alyssa Zolna

Lube makes sex more exciting and can make any sex position feel so much hotter, says Jessica O'Reilly, Ph.D., creator of the Sexual Pro Series Webinars. She suggests a formula with both water and silicone (we recommend this NATURALOVE Organic Personal Lubricant from the Women's Health Boutique). "A few drops go a long way!" she says.

Alyssa Zolna

Whether it involves a sex toy or just your own body and imagination, showing self love during sex shows your partner the routes he can use to pleasure you, says Jane Greer, Ph.D., a New York-based marriage and sex therapist and author of What About Me? Stop Selfishness From Ruining Your Relationship. "Make your own pleasure a priority and you'll find that sex is both more frequent and satisfying for both you and your partner," says O'Reilly.

Alyssa Zolna

Did you know that your clitoris isn't just a tiny nub? It's actually a pretty big wishbone-like structure running underneath both sides of the labia. Research shows that many times indirect clitoral stimulation speeds up arousal, says Van Kirk. "In fact, the one o'clock spot to the left of the exposed clitoris is supposed to be the most pleasurable zone to focus on." Let's go exploring.

Related: Your Private Parts: A Lesson In Female Anatomy

Alyssa Zolna

"This is the hand job to end all blow jobs," says O'Reilly. Apply lots of lube, interlace your fingers, apply pressure to your partner's member, and stroke up and down.

Alyssa Zolna

Looking into your partner's eyes mid-orgasm can help the two of your feel more connected and erotic, says Six.

Alyssa Zolna

Get a toy for two, like a vibrating penis ring or a wearable vibrator (like this one from We-Vibe). "Sex toys have therapeutic value because they can bring a woman to orgasm more easily and they take the pressure off the man's performance," says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., sexologist and founder of Plus, they up your chances of a simultaneous orgasm, says Cadell. Cha-ching.

Alyssa Zolna

A spicy way to mix up your sex routine is playing with your senses. "Sensation play is a form of BDSM where you stimulate the body using objects and substances for sensual effect," says Cadell. Try sucking on an ice cube before performing oral sex or cover your eyes with a blindfold during sex or foreplay. Doing so accentuates all your other senses and might squash some of your inhibitions.

Related: A Beginner's Guide to Rough Sex

Alyssa Zolna

Whether it's in a tent while camping or in your backyard (hopefully where no one can see you), discover a whole new side of nature by doing the deed outside "Getting out into nature helps us to reconnect with a primal sense of sexuality," says Engler. Plus, some research suggests that just smelling dirt releases oxytocin, the so-called cuddle hormone, which makes couples feel more attached.

Alyssa Zolna

Forget the idea of a sexual soul mate—you have to work to be compatible in bed, says O'Reilly. Recent research suggests that those who believe good sex takes work report higher levels of satisfaction than those who believe good sex comes naturally if you're a good match. "If you want to grow sexually with your partner, you need to talk about feelings, fantasies, and frequency," O'Reilly says. Tell him about how you need to feel in order to have sex and how you want to feel during and after sex. Then explain some of your sexual fantasies and how often you want to have sex. Check in with him about how he feels about these things to get on the same page or find a compromise.

Related: 12 Daily Habits of Super-Happy Couples

Alyssa Zolna

It's normal to feel a bit nervous about telling your partner what's really on your mind—but it's essential if you want to get more of what you want in bed. However, that doesn't mean you need to give him a play-by-play, says licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist Vanessa Marin. Instead, focus on how something feels in the moment and speak up accordingly. Letting him know what feels good and what adjustments need to be made (think: pressure, speed, etc.) as it's happening can help a lot, says Marin. It's also a good idea to discuss how things went post-sex while you're still in bed. You can share what you really liked or what you'd like to change next time. Bonus: "You'll feel closer and more connected," says Marin.

alyssa Zolna

Those moan fests you see on the screen aren't always an accurate depiction of what an orgasm should sound like, says O'Reilly. Sometimes an orgasm feels relaxing not exhilarating—and that's perfectly fine. "You don't have to scream to have an orgasm or let your partner know that you're enjoying yourself," she says. So own your orgasms as they are—and don't expect them to look or sound like the ones you see on TV or in movies.

Colleen de BellefondsColleen de Bellefonds is an American freelance journalist living in Paris, France, with her husband and dog, Mochi.

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Jeremih - Birthday Sex (Official Music Video)

Birthday sex is one of the best ways to celebrate your significant others special day. Not only will it be a treat for them, but you can also experience the birthday magic at the end of the day. Whether you enjoy exotic or standard session, here are 8 best sex positions for when it ‘s your significant others birthday.

1. Getting it from the back in doggie style

How to do the move: Getting on your arms and knees, lift your butt in the air. For these best sex positions, get your significant other to kneel down behind you, and have them penetrate you from the back. To back it comfy try opting for a pillow and placing it underneath your breasts.

Why do it? This position is great for a deep penetration, and for stimulating the G-spot. To increase the flow to the G-spot also have your partner stimulate your breasts and clit while getting penetrated from the back.

8 Best Sex Positions For When It's Your Significant Others Birthday

2. A treat for them and you in 69ing

How to do the move: Have your partner lay on their back, and comfortably spread their legs. While, you take the chance to get comfy straddling their face. Now both of you should be able to begin to pleasure the other.

Why do it? This position offers a great way for them to get theirs and for you to get yours. Serving your partner can be quite the birthday treat for both of you.

3. Getting on top

How to do the move: In this position your going to want them to lay on their backs, while you straddle him. For a more secure pose place both hands on their thighs, this will stabilize you.

Why do it? Since its their birthday not only will it offer a great show for them, but it stimulates you both. Arching your lower back, you can move as you want keeping a great tempo can both of you see fireworks.

4. Butter Fly

How to do the move: Lay on your back, legs spread and knees slightly bent. Have your partner kneel or stand if the surface your laying on is short. Then finally have them lift your hips up high enough to penetrate you. A helpful thing to remember is to have a pillow underneath you, it allows for you to be comfy and for him to have a better angle at penetrating you.

Why do it? You can open and close your thighs adjusting the angle and set the rhythm. While he is free to explore your body and have fun!

5. Blind fold birthday strip

How to do it: Sit them down on a chair and put a blind fold over their eyes. As you take off each pair of clothing, brush the part you revel against them. Straddle their lap and have them go inside you. Never let them see you.

Why do it? This special treatment will not only make them appreciate your gift, but you’ll both have fun doing it.

8 Best Sex Positions For When It's Your Significant Others Birthday

6. Fourplay all day

How to do it: Tease your significant other all day on their birthdays. Take photos of side boob, and flash your best pair of panties. Each getting them hotter until they meet up with you that night.

Why do it? Not only are these best sex positions fun, but it builds up the sexual tension between the two of you. This will make for a more passionate session later in the bedroom.

8 Best Sex Positions For When It's Your Significant Others Birthday

7. Oral goodness

How to do it: Command the room by pushing your significant other down on the bed (surface of choice) and slowly crawl up their bodies. Kiss them down until you get to their sensitive area. Tease them a bit before getting down to business.

Why do it? Seeing friends and family is great on one’s birthday but it’s the after party where things heat up. This moment is all yours, so why not give them the best birthday gift money can’t buy.

8. Against the wall

How to do it: Match up the sexual tension between the two of you by having wall sex. Press your body against the door or wall while they lift you up to a desired height. Enjoy!

Why do it? If you’re in a hurry to make planned birthday festivites this quickie will help you two to enjoy a five minute alone time session.

8 Best Sex Positions For When It's Your Significant Others Birthday

These eight best sex positions for when its your significant others birthday will help to make their entire night!

Featured Image: Pinterst

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Jaylyn GallowaySours: https://www.societycom/best-sex-positions-for-when-its-your-significant-others-birthday/

Birthday ideas best sex

Birthday Sex Ideas That Are More Delicious Than Cake

Anya Betten | April 8,
Category: Sex Tips & Advice

Birthday sex—there’s just something about the way those two luscious words roll off the tip of your tongue that makes you immediately think, “Yes, please.” Maybe it brings to mind the image of a sexy bikini-clad gal emerging from an extra-large, heavily frosted birthday cake, or maybe you hear Jeremih’s hit song of the same name playing in the back of your head (as he says, “it’s the best day of the year,” after all). Nothing quite says “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” like some sensual, erotic birthday sex.

birthday sex ideas

Birthday sex is something that, truly, everyone looks forward to all year long. Of course, sex any day of the year is sure to leave you weak at the knees, but there’s still something oh-so-very special about the sex you have on your day. It’s the perfect opportunity for you to show your partner just how much they mean to you by tapping into their most sensual desires and pleasure points. And putting a little extra effort into this particular day of play (with the help of a few tips and tricks) can go a long way. Whether your own birthday is coming up or your partner’s, there are a whole bunch of fun ways that you can make this year’s birthday sex even more delicious (with or without the cherry on top).

Give them what they really, really want.

Does your partner crave slow, sensual play? Or do they just love to sit back, relax, and be on the receiving end of some luscious oral? Take note of what your partner loves most and specially curate an experience just for them, complete with all the things they fantasize about most. If you want to up the ante even more, consider withholding this extra-special activity from you and your partner’s sexual repertoire in the week leading up to their birthday so that when you’re finally ready to gift it to them on their birthday, it’s even more wildly satisfying. (After all, how much more delicious is a slice of cake if you haven’t had one in a week or two?)

Put together a sexy scavenger hunt.

Who doesn’t love the thrill of trying to find an extra special something that’s been hidden someplace close by? Add some extra mystery to this year’s birthday sex by inviting your partner to find a little something special that leads them right into bed with you. You can set out a bunch of sexy clues that lead your partner straight to a sexy new toy for you two to share. Or, if your partner likes taking a little more control and you’re feeling especially seductive, consider wearing a remote-control toy, and hide the remote somewhere nearby so that they have to find it if they want to play.

Grab the blindfold and give them a surprise.

One of the best parts of celebrating a birthday is unwrapping your gifts and finding something special inside. But why not turn the tables a bit and make your partner into the gift so that you can unwrap them? Cover your partner’s eyes with a blindfold and add some mystery to this year’s birthday sex by slowly removing pieces of you and your partner’s clothing. Add in some sensual touching and seductive whispers to get your partner’s imagination going. One of the best parts of using a blindfold is that it makes all your other senses extra sensitive to even the most subtle pleasures.

birthday sex

Let them have their cake… and eat it, too.

Who doesn’t love devouring a slice of cake or two on their birthday? Your partner is no exception. Food play can be a super sexy (and delicious) way to make birthday sex a little extra special. Whether you and your partner are experts or novices when it comes to food play, bring a little whip cream and maybe even some birthday cake ice cream with you into the bedroom. The coolness of the ice cream can make oral sex and intimate kissing extra thrilling, and whip cream is perfect for licking off of your partner from any angle. Just be sure to keep some intimate wipes nearby so things don’t get too creamy.

When it comes to having birthday sex that will leave your partner (and you!) feeling extra special and satisfied, it all comes down to what you both love to do most in the bedroom together. Take note of your sexiest experiences together and use your imagination! Think about how you can use the tips above to spice up your play in ways that are new, fun, and exciting for both of you. After all, sex is about enjoying a shared intimate experience with one another, so as long as you’re being mindful of each other’s most alluring pleasure points, then you’re sure to make it a birthday to remember.

Anya Betten

Anya is a writer and editor living in Los Angeles, California. With seven years of writing experience behind her, she has had the opportunity to cover a diverse array of topics spanning from sex and sexuality, relationships, social development, world history, and breaking news. When she’s not writing, she spends her time hanging with her sweet calico cat, hiking, and working on too many DIY projects.

Jeremih - Birthday Sex (Official Music Video)

There are moments in a man’s life when good, wholesome sex becomes something more. When the bed rocks, the walls shake, and the wildlife starts howling at the moon.

Rest up.

Tonight’s going to be one of those nights.

I like to think of a man’s sex life as the 11 o’clock SportsCenter. Besides a few bloopers and vital stats (97 seconds—a career high!), we keep a reel of sexual highlights—maybe it’s our first home run, or an incomparable breast stroke, or that dramatic come-from-behind victory.

But what exactly makes the difference between a decent sex highlight and one you’ll replay your whole life?

Related: How to Pleasure a Woman—the Men’s Health Guide to Becoming a Master Lover

Depending on your preferences, it can be anything: urgent, sweaty, passionate, anonymous, long, short, in a cab, under a palm tree, with a palm tree, whatever. The defining characteristic is that it’s just a heck of a lot better than the other times you had sex this year.

Inspired to make more highlights, we pulled together a list of the eight most monumental sexual experiences in most men’s lives and figured out why they’re such milestones.

The key in almost all of the instances is this: The hotter you make her, the hotter the sex will be. “A bonfire doesn’t start instantly,” says Lou Paget, author of The Big O. “You have to fuel it; you’ve got to light it.”

So here—in an effort to make once-in-a-lifetime experiences come more often—we provide the firewood and the gas. Your job: Light the match.

Related: Everything You Wanted to Know about the Female Orgasm

Wedding-Night Sex

Why its monumental: It’s her perfect day. She looks gorgeous (and she’s been told that times an hour). Her whole family is around her. And now she truly feels the comfort and security of having a husband.

Translation: “The reward system in her brain is going bonkers,” says Helen Fisher, Ph.D., an anthropologist at Rutgers University and author of The First Sex.

Physiologically, her feel-good chemicals—dopamine and epinephrine—are firing fast, meaning she’s wired to feel euphoric and to give as much pleasure as she’s receiving.

Related: This Is How Many Couples Actually Have Sex On Their Wedding Night

Have it tonight: Even if you went on your honeymoon 12 years ago, or don’t plan on going on one for another 12 years, you can create the spark by triggering her reward system.

Try these tricks:

In the morning, use a ballpoint pen to write a sexy note somewhere on her body. Try the top of her thigh (prime real estate, with minimum exposure to coworkers).

“Women are turned on by words,” Fisher says. Start with “I,” end with “you,” and use the verb of your choice in between. Giving her 9 or 10 hours to see, think about, and fantasize about your note starts the percolation process.

When she comes home, try this move.

While facing her, hold her head with both of your hands, tilt her head back, and gently kiss the side of her neck.

“If you touch a woman the way she wants to be touched, she’ll be all over you,” says Paget. That means staying away from your traditional “go to” spots and kissing the parts of her body you usually ignore, like the back of her hand, the inside of her elbow, or her hipbone.

Now that you’re under the covers, expand your repertoire of oral sex—a nice reward in itself. Paget suggests the Kivin method: You lie perpendicular to her body, which allows you to stroke her clitoris with your tongue in a crosswise motion, rather than up and down. She’ll appreciate the change in stimulation—hopefully, enough to return the reward.

Honey-I’m-Home Sex

Why its monumental: If you haven’t eaten all day, you pig out at dinner. Same with sex.

If you’re attached, a business trip equals massive sexual deprivation. It means the closest thing you’re getting to regular sex is the midnight showing of the hotel’s $ adult movie. (Note: Titles do not appear on your bill.)

Related: 5 Things That Only Happen In Porn

So when you reach home, the deprivation turns into sexual gorging.

“You usually find that this is the most romantic sex, because it starts out with long, luscious kisses that really get the juices flowing,” says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a California sexologist and author of Stock Market Orgasm.

Have it tonight: You can simulate this kind of passion—whether you’ve been away for 8 days or 8 minutes—by giving her this kind of kiss, and in this order.

Kiss her face all over—lightly.

Lick the outside of her lips.

Kiss her bottom lip. “There’s a correlation between a woman’s bottom lip and her vagina. Sucking gently on her lip will make her vagina swell,” Cadell says.

Gently suck her tongue. Cadell says, “I call kissing facial intercourse—it’s really erotic.”

Makeup Sex

Why its monumental: You yell, you scream, you break some dishes. Then you make up and head right to the bedroom, where there’s more screaming.

But this time, the only thing you’re both breaking is the sound barrier (and maybe the headboard). 

“When you fight, anger drives up testosterone in both men and women. If you go to bed with increased testosterone and agitation, the sex drive is going to be stronger," Fisher says. “And more fantasies may flood your mind, which increases stimulation.”

Have it tonight: You can reenact fighting—and the emotions that go along with it—without hurting each other, Cadell says.

She suggests trying anything that will create a little physical tension between the two of you. Like . . .

Miniature golf. “You can do anything that’s just a little competitive,” says Gloria Brame, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist and author in Atlanta. “Once you start competing, you can get physical and really work each other up.”

Related: The One Factor That Makes Or Breaks Your Sex Life After You Have Kids

Pillow fights. “It starts her hair flying and her breasts moving, and even gets her gasping a little for breath,” Brame says. “There’s something very sexual about that.”

Naked wrestling. Hint: Let her win.

Breakup Sex

Why its monumental: It’s like the day before a diet. Tomorrow I’ll start, but today I’m going to enjoy one last order of chicken wings.

You’ve decided together that the relationship isn’t working, but what the hey, one last tryst won’t hurt anyone.

And it winds up being better than any you’ve had in the past 6 months for two reasons.

Related: How to Handle Your Breakup Like a Boss

One’s physical: Fisher says that there’s some speculation among researchers that in so-called last-chance copulation, a man may unknowingly alter the levels of certain hormones in his semen, and that may trigger his partner to ovulate spontaneously.

In other words, your subconscious tries to hold on to the commitment by potentially impregnating her, even though you don’t want to.

The other reason is psychological: “When you know you’re never going to see someone again, you want to leave her wanting you—and you’ll do anything to drive her out of her mind,” says Cadell. “So you both end up concentrating on being uninhibited.”

Have it tonight: To make a woman less inhibited, try to reduce her tension, says Brame. Try releasing it in her body—and in her brain.

Clean out the refrigerator (or anything that shortens her to-do list). Showing thoughtfulness and initiative will make her a more willing sex partner, says Paul Joannides, author of Guide to Getting It On.

While researching his book, Joannides talked to a female “escort” who had a valuable insight about her customers: “She said, ‘I don't get it. These guys would get a lot more sex at home if they’d spend their money on a maid or cleaning service rather than spending it on me.’”

Related: How to Clean Your Blender In Less Than 30 Seconds, and 6 Other Genius Cleaning Hacks

When massaging her, focus only on her earlobes, hands, and lower back—the unsung erotic spots. Hit the lower spine not only because that’s where she stores a lot of tension, but also because you’ll reach her pleasure zones in a more indirect path.

Brame says, “This area is a nerve center with connections all over, so rubbing her lower spine could make her feel tingly in front.”

Birthday Sex

Why its monumental: It’s clear who’s doing the giving and who’s doing the receiving—which means there’s no pressure for the receiver to reciprocate, says Cadell.

Because of that, there’s a huge buildup of anticipation for the birthday boy. I wonder what she’s going to give me this year!

Have it tonight: For the days of nonbirthday sex, you need to build that same anticipation between the two of you. You do it for her = she’ll do it for you next time. Try this:

Tell her you want to take her somewhere special tonight. Then ask if she’ll leave her underwear at home.

Take her to a place that plays Latin music. “Latin dancing is very sexual, especially the movement of the pelvis,” Cadell says.

When you’re back home, you can give her your present: the ultimate mind-blowing orgasm. Have her get on top of you and tilt her hips forward a little so that her clitoris hits your pelvis.

The tilting also means your penis will hit her G-spot. Those two spots will be plenty, but for extra pleasure, seek out and caress or lightly stimulate other sensitive areas—her lips, her nipples, her bottom—with your hands or fingers.

Related: 45 Best Sex Positions Every Couple Should Try

The goal: sensory pleasure. Work as many angles as you can dream up; she’ll let you know what’s working.

First-Time-with-Her Sex

Why its monumental: “It’s exciting because of the discovery quotient,” says Louanne Cole Weston, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in California.

“You’re really tuned in to every sense, and you’re feeling things for the first time.”

Related: 9 Questions You Must Ask Her

Another factor: Many men, especially those in long-term relationships, create a formula for what sex should be like. When that formula changes—as it often does with a new woman—it heightens excitement.

Have it tonight: Maybe it’s not your first time with her but your st. The key is playing with your senses—or at least stimulating them in a new way. “When you take away one of the senses, the others work overtime,” says Cadell.

Here are a few ways to change the sensory experience.

Try Cadell’s honey game: You’re blindfolded; she hides a dab of honey somewhere on her body. You try to find it—using only your tongue.

Take a swig of champagne, then kiss her body while it’s still in your mouth. The fizz will tingle.

Tie each other’s feet together with her panty hose. Mild bondage heightens sexual urgency, Paget says.

Vacation Sex

Why its monumental: First, you’re free from all the things that stress you out—the job, the bills, another late-season Red Sox fold.

But the second reason Aruba sex is hotter than subdivision sex is the change in scenery. “There’s a marking-the-territory factor for most men and women,” Weston says. “Sex on vacation is a virginal experience in a way.”

Have it tonight: From the simple to the extravagant, you can take a vacation day any day (boss be damned!):

Turn upside down on the bed—feet at the pillow end. “Even doing something simple like hitting the bed at a different angle or sitting or standing up on the bed will add extra stimulation,” Weston says.

Related: Tackle These Intimidating Sex Positions

Change the order of foreplay.

“Remove the dip test from your repertoire,” Paget says. “Any woman hates the kiss, kiss, kiss, tweak, tweak, tweak the nipple, dip, dip, dip to see if she’s lubricated. That’s a major turnoff.” Instead, try kissing her neck, her inner thigh, then her pinkie finger or wherever else.

Move up and down her body like Ray Charles on ivory so she doesn’t know where you’re going next.

Check into an adult motel on your lunch hour. “That’s a pretty short vacation,” Cadell says.

In Los Angeles, a hotel called Splash features Jacuzzis in themed rooms that you can rent by the hour.

But you can go to any hotel, then serve her lunch. “One study showed that black licorice increases bloodflow to her genital area by 40 percent, but any food that’s phallic can be an aphrodisiac for her,” Cadell says. Save room for dessert.

Related: How to Eat for Better Sex

Let’s-Have-a-Baby Sex

Why its monumental: Many couples feel an intense emotional connection the first time they start trying to have a baby.

“For some, it’s a very primal experience,” Weston says. “For so long you’ve avoided pregnancy, but now you’re ready to be a dad. Saying you want to have a baby with someone is very romantic.”

Have it tonight: Start this way.

Put flower petals on the top of a ceiling fan. Turn it on when she lies down.

Have sex side by side. It’s the most equal of the sexual positions. If you’re facing each other, there’s more of an emotional bond than when one is on top of the other, Weston says.

Related: 4 Ways to Make Your Sperm Stronger, Faster, and More Fertile

Play your wedding song in the background.

“If something has special meaning to you both, bring it to the bedroom because it creates a special connection between the two of you,“ Brame says. “Hopefully that special connection isn’t a bottle of Jack.”

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Now discussing:

As the Jeremih song says, "Don't need candles and cake / just need your body to make, birthday sex." And sure, birthday sex is a cheap, last-minute gift that your partner might really appreciate, but there are some ways to make it a little more memorable than the sex you have any other day of the year.

An added bonus to the obviously great gift idea: Sex on your partner's birthday is also a gift to yourself, says Michelle Hope, a sexologist in New York City. "Really think about how you can make it fun for your partner, and make it fun for yourself," Hope says. Gear up for the activities you know your partner loves, but also don't forget to include some of your favourites, too. 'Tis better to give and receive, if you think about it.

Just remember to keep your expectations at a reasonable level, Hope says. If you want to jump out of a massive cake and surprise your partner, that's awesome, but birthday sex doesn't have to be a perfect, splashy ordeal (or involve papier-mâché). "Communicate what your hopes are for the day with your partner, and understand that things can go wrong," she says. Ahead, a few ways to guarantee the party doesn't stop when they blow out the candles.

Sours: https://www.refinerycom/en-gb/birthday-sex-ideas-positions

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